Gary Morley

Lately we have noticed a disturbing trend in Citadel’s newer miniatures. There are sexier miniatures wearing less clothing. Trying to find a common link, we were led to Gary Morley who sculpted these pornographic figures. We are here to expose Gary Morley for who he really is... a miniature pimp. I don’t mean a really small man that controls women to sell their sex. I do mean a man that sculpts scantily clad miniatures to gain money from the fantasies of young boys. I mean really, just look at the Ork cheerleader rumoured to have been sculpted by Gary years ago. What do you think? We had a chance to speak with Gary to give you a better understanding of how his perverted mind works. Scott — “Hi, how are you today?” Gary — “Oh God it’s YOU!” Scott — “That’s great. How long have you been sculpting for Games Workshop?” Gary — “Um.......... 8 years.” Scott — “What did you do before then?” Gary — “Same thing ...............” Scott — “Do you find that your sculpting style is heavily influenced by pornography?” Gary — “What are you on?” Scott — “Your most famous models (and my favourites) are Kruellagh the Vile and Bertha (bare butt) Bestraufrung. What were your inspirations for these models?” Gary — “Now let me see?........... MARSHMALLOWS.” Scott — “Each sculptor is well-known for a specific type of model... Nelson for his Orks, Chris Fitzpatrick for his tall Dark Eldar with big feet, Jes Goodwin for everything that is cool... Why did you choose to specialize in figures which are mostly naked chicks and the like?” Gary — “Ughh?......... Are you sure you’re not on something?” Scott — “Do you feel at all responsible for the decline of the moral values of younger gamers, who are now having more trouble reining in their raging hormones even during something as simple as a wargame?” Gary — “mmmmm.......... it depends on how you view a piece of harmless metal or........ are you sure that you haven’t missed an appointment or need to be somewhere else........ Oh God!” Scott — “Don’t avoid the question. Isn’t it true that you intend to start your own company tentatively called “Games Pornshop” that deals exclusively with naked miniatures and games to go with them?” Gary — “Oh yes absolutely.............. .mmmm......... but it was not going to be called that” Scott — “Can I have some samples?” Gary — “Do you really think I’m mad!” Scott — “Do you think famous Porn Stars would make good Special Characters?” Gary — “Oh please....... stop......... sorry, which department do you work in?” Scott — “Do you use live models for your figures? Can I meet some of them?” Gary — “I am afraid that all our models are either made from... metal, plastic, resin and sometimes cardboard. They don’t walk or talk or have lives of their own, you purchase them in blister packets and boxes....... no, no, no, stop go away. Aaagghhhh!” Scott — “Hey, what is this one you are working on here... Wow that’s sexy, really sexy... Uh, Where is the bathroom, I gotta go...” Gary — “THANK GOD!” Scott — “Ummm, before I go, did you do the Asdrubael Vect women?” Gary — “NO, NOW GO AWAY” Scott — “Talk to you later.” So now you decide if Gary is a miniature pimp... We just expose the facts for what they are. Even if he is, we here at Light Dwarf don’t see a problem with it.